You look like crap!

So, its been 10 day since surgery today. I've been recovering at my families "compound" in the high desert. I have some of the most highly skilled Nazi nurses and engineer fireman paramedics looking after me. I even have a veteran bypass patient to tell me how I should be doing things! I work for the doctor. I know what I am SUPPOSED To be doing. The rules are: Walk, ALOT. Drink, ALOT, and get ALOT of protein in. Well, that is all easier said than done. I was going to be the model patient, the golden child. But when you have gone through it, its a whole different ball game sister! The first few days were rough because I was hurting alot. Doing anything other than laying around and sipping on water was a challenge. The successful veteran bypass patient ( my dad) prodded me to walk several times a day. I didn't feel like moving. But he got me up and walked the property with my several times. After all, who wants to get blood clots and die, Not this girl! Let me tell you one thing about this bypass recovery stuff.... its rough! Its harder than I thought it was going to be! I have zero desire to get up and walk, and even less desire to eat or drink. Imagine that. But its a real issue. I was trying, but its hard to do something when you have NO desire to do it. In the last few days I have gotten out of the house a little here and there. We have went to lunch with the fam. I get my soup broth, or egg, and I'm satisfied. But then I want to go home, because even the smallest outing exhausts me beyond belief. Today was my 2 week check up. I was nervous because of the staples. I had six incisions all over my belly, totalling 14 staples. I have had anxiety for days about having these things removed because I was sure it was gonna hurt bad! My mama drove me to my appt, and I was very anxious to get on that scale. I have been eating meals out of cups that they serve you sides of ranch in at restaurants, so I was expecting MASSIVE weight loss. I stepped on the scale and the number popped up. 8 stinking pounds. You have to be kidding me. I have went through HELL, and I lost a newborn baby? I wasn't happy. The doc is happy if I am getting 64 oz of fluid in daily and somewhere around 60-70 grams of protein. When I really starting thinking about what I have been consuming, reality hit me. Ive been lucky to get maybe 20oz of fluid in a day. And IF i drink a protein shake in my day, i have 40 oz of protein. If not, which alot of days I haven't, I'm getting somewhere between 10-15 grams of protein in. So no wonder I feel like I have been hit by a truck. No wonder taking a shower wipes me out beyond belief! As soon as I walked in, the girls were like wow Jen, you look horrid. Then another girl said, man, you didn't even do your hair today did you? I told my mom, why didn't you tell me how bad I look! I met with my favorite doc in the work Dr. Douglas Krahn, and he said Jen, are you nauseated? Because you are looking pretty pale and kind of yellow and green. LOL thanks! love you too! He gave me a little spanking and told me that if I don't get it together and start eating and drinking more, I'm going to be in the hospital, and that is definitely not something I am interested in! So, here I lay, sipping on my crystal light. I hope if I can get more protein and water in I will start feeling better. I'm off for another week, and my mission is to get it together so I wont get the "you look like crap" comments anymore!!!

Going under the knife for a new life!

I have been meaning to write this blog for about a week now, but the last few weeks have been a bit of a whirl wind! I checked into the hospital on Monday, July 15th to have revision surgery. Dr. Douglas Krahn was going to remove my non functioning lap-band and convert to gastric bypass. I had been awaiting and preparing for this day for weeks. In the week leading up to this day I had to do many things to prepare my body for this surgery. I went on a 8 day all liquid protein diet, and began exercising daily to help optimize my recovery at my doctors orders. The day before surgery I had to drink a bottle of magnesium citrate to flush my intestines and make sure my body was completely empty! Upon admission to the hospital the nervousness of the journey I was about to embark on hit me like a ton of bricks, but  I was ready for it. They got me all set up with my IV fluids and let my parents and family come back to visit me. Dr. Krahn and Dr. Chin and his P.A. Sam all came to check on me and let me know how the day was going to play out. Soon it was my turn to be wheeled into the OR to be prepared for surgery. As soon as they wheeled me in, I started to panic. It was finally real! I have been watching WAY too much Grey's anatomy and the OR was nothing like I had seen on T.V. LOL. My anesthesiologist was about 178 years old, and the only thing that I could tell myself so I wouldn't freak out was that he was VERY experienced in his field!. Before surgery I tend to have a mini panic attack, and the nurses were amazing. She held my hand, and that really did help alot, and before I knew it, I was asleep. The next thing I recall was waking up to a very bright light over my head. I was hurting so bad, and the thirst that I had was unbelievable. I remember moaning and saying that I hurt so bad and I was so thirsty. Apparently I was a bit too loud, and one nurse told me that I needed to be quiet because I was not the only one in the room. She is really lucky I was incapacitated at that point. The next thing I recall is waking up in my room with all my family sitting around staring at me. I was very groggy, and it feels weird to be the center of attention like that. I was hurting pretty bad at that point so the nurse said she would get me something to help the pain. This is when the hell started. They gave me a very strong pain medication called dilaudid. To put it lightly, this pain med JACKED ME UP. I was a miserable wreck for the next 48 hours. Nausea is one of the worst things in the world, especially nausea that cannot be relieved. They gave me anti-nausea medication through my IV. Every time they would put something else through my IV  it would light my arm on fire with pain. Those days were NOT fun in any way. All I could do was close my eyes and try to wait for it to pass. Day two was exceptionally rough. They took me down to do an upper GI to make sure that everything was ok. Combine nausea with having to drink a thick syrup and stand in front of an x-ray machine and I was in tears. They took me back to my room, and when I arrived my two moms were there to visit me. I felt so bad to have visitors and I couldn't even speak to them because of the nausea. The bright spot of the day is when I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from My Todd. Be still my heart <3. The second night at about 2 AM I reached my breaking point. Every time I would turn around they would be putting something else in my body through that IV, and my right had had swollen to about two times its regular size. I honestly starting thinking that they might be trying to kill me. I asked them to please stop, as I would rather have pain than nausea. They gave me an oral mild pain med and I finally was able to fall asleep and I woke up day three feeling worlds better! Sam came to visit me that morning and asked me if I wanted to go home and I said YES! My mom and dad came to pick me up and  I was discharged from the hospital that day and headed home to begin the recovery process. My hospital stay was less than desirable. I had some really sweet nurses,and some not so sweet nurses, but either way, I made it through and I am excited about the journey that has officially begun!

supplements, supplements and more supplements!

I am going under the knife two weeks from tomorrow. And since I am a planner by nature, I am starting to prepare for my new life with my tiny tummy. Per my doctors advice, I am starting to take my post-op bariatric supplements today so I have built up a supply in my system prior to surgery. I went to vitamin world with my list in hand of vitamins and supplements I will need to be taking. I felt like an old lady, because I purchased a pill box and all. I came home and divided out my pills for the week. Can you believe that the pill box would barely hold all the supplements I will need to take?? I am not a typically good "pill taker" so I have to get in the habit of doing this, because I do not want to be one of those bariatric patients who look sickly and frail with their hair falling out. So, Here is to good health, new habits, and a healthy life! Don't forget to take your vitamins friends!

To be transparent or not to be transparent? THAT is the question!

Good Morning Friends. This is the first post of my new blog! My name is Jennifer, or Jen. This blog is going to focus on the ups and downs of my weight loss journey. It is a lifelong journey for me. I have blogged in the past, but then decided that I would like to keep my life a lil more private. I have given this alot of thought, and the answer is to be transparent. I have always wanted to live a life where I can help others. Being transparent about some things can encourage and help others, and that is what I live to do! I will try give a very brief synopsis of my life up until today so we can get started with the here and now!

Above is a photo of me during my heaviest time. After a lifetime of being heavy, and trying tons of diets,  when I turned 30 I decided to do something that would be more permanent. I was 350 pounds at my heaviest. I decided to have weight loss surgery which was a HUGE decision. I went to ONE seminar, Dr. Douglas Krahn's seminar www.westernbariatric.com . That was the day I knew that he would be my doctor. I had done my homework and knew he was the best in the west! On April 22nd, 2009 I weighed 308 pounds and I had surgery to install a lap band around my stomach. This was the least invasive procedure and I felt it would be the best thing for me. In a matter of 2 years I lost 120 pounds. The journey was AMAZING. Amazingly hard, and amazingly life changing! Learning to eat with this new tiny tummy was quite the challenge, but I faced it head on and I was very successful. With the weight loss I gained a new found confidence, and life was pretty stinken good! Below is a pic of me at my lowest weight (in the white)

 I started having some issues with the band in the last year. The issues got more and more frustrating and hindered my regular life. So the doctor appointments increased, the testing began. This bring me to today. In three weeks I will be having my lap-band removed and I will be having gastric bypass. I have gained about 60 pounds back from my lowest weight. It has been a pretty discouraging time during the weight gain. I have learned the hard way that having a weight loss surgery is only a TOOL. I preach that everywhere I go. But when your tool isn't working as it should, its pretty discouraging. I love my lap-band. It helped me change my life. Unfortunately it is time for us to part ways. So, I am going to be embarking on a brand new life with a different kind of tiny tummy. I am kind of ready for it, because of what I learned living the life of a banded girl. However, I am very nervous. This is different. But I am ready to take on the challenge. Because I will tell you what I am not ready for. I am NOT ready to gain the weight back and become the fat Jen again. No way, no how!
So if you follow this blog, I will update it often ( I hope) and be transparent about my journey. Ill tell you one thing, I WILL be successful. :) I will post pics to inspire others and make you realize that you CAN do it. I did it once, and I will continue to fight this fat girl that wants to overtake me till the end! Until next time...